Thursday 3:45am, I was alone in my bedroom sobbing, Charlie in the next room crying his eyes out. This was the 4th time he had woken since 10:30. I’m at my wit’s end, sleep-deprived, exhausted, emotional; the third night in a row that I’ve managed no more than a couple of broken hours sleep. Is it the 9 month sleep regression? Is it his teeth? I just don’t know. He keeps rolling on to his tummy and wakes up in tears, going to sleep only by holding on to my arm. The second I try and pull my arm away slowly he screams again. But I need my sleep too. I think about calling my husband who is a 3 hour drive from home, what good would that do!? But I just needed that support. Eventually by 5am I’ve managed to rock Charlie back to sleep and I manage an hour before he wakes up again.
In the light of day I reach for my phone and Google “9 month sleep regression” – Charlie seems to show all the signs. But then I realise that reading about it, as interesting as it is, is no help at all. We are not doing anything wrong, Charlie has always had the same routine. Some weeks he sleeps 12 hours a night, some weeks he wakes every hour. Googling never gives any real answer as to what to do, because it appears that it just happens, and we have to just be there and persevere. Keep pushing on through, that’s all we can do, at the end of the day there is nothing else.
Needless to say the sleep deprivation this week, along with my husband not being here, totally threw off any plans I had. My “12 days of New Year” challenges were the last things on my mind, along with housework, cooking, washing, personal hygiene….etc etc. Except on Thursday I did manage to have a shower, put on some make up, dress myself, dress Charlie and get him loaded up to go for a coffee with my mum – only, when it came to the moment I was about to step out of the door, nappy bag over my shoulder, Charlie in my arms, I broke down in tears and almost text her to cancel. But no, I needed to get out of the same 4 walls. I sucked it up, pulled myself together an went out. I’m so glad I did, and mums can definitely sense when something is wrong. She straight away suggested that she have Charlie for a couple of hours in the afternoon so that I could get some rest. It really helped, and Thursday night I again was in for a rough night with Charlie. The worst night yet. It’s totally irrational but at times, it feels like it is possible to drop dead from sleep deprivation!
Thankfully my husband returned home on Friday, 3 hours earlier than expected; obviously I was overjoyed, but then my attention turned to the big bar of Dairy Milk that was waiting for me in the fridge – a much-needed treat to myself for surviving 5 days! “Please don’t touch that chocolate baby I NEED it tonight” I begged. Friday night brought a SLIGHTLY better nights sleep, and I managed a solid 4 hour block of sleep which made me feel a new woman this morning.
With my new found energy and an extra pair of hands at home, I was able to make a to-do list and actually tick them ALL off! I have completed day 4’s challenge “try a new recipe’. I have baked some Chocolate and Beetroot brownies, and I must say they are delicious!!! The recipe is from Annabel Karmel’s Instagram page:
- 300g cooked Beetroot, peeled and grated
- 200g plain chocolate
- 100g butter
- 1tsp vanilla extract
- 225g caster sugar
- 3 eggs
- 100g self raising flour
- 20g cocoa powder
Preheat oven to 170 degrees fan oven. Line a 20cm tin with baking paper. Place the chocolate and bitter in a mixing bowl, put over a pan of simmering water. Stir until melted and runny. Add eggs, vanilla and sugar – mix until well mixed. Then add the flour, cocoa and Beetroot. Whisk again then spoon in to the tin. Bake for 30 minutes until set and just firm in the middle. Leave to cool. I then sliced in to 16 squares. If like me you track your food in apps such as MyFitnessPal, I figured out that each brownie contains 210 calories (10 fat, 20 carbs, 3 protein). And they contain Beetroot – so they are obviously healthy! 😉
So now for day 5’s challenge – do 50 press ups as fast as possible.
My time was 1 minute 59 seconds. Done in 1 set of 20 then 3 sets of 10 with probably a 10 second breather between each set 🙂