After reading a blog yesterday https://thelandofbiscuit.wordpress.com I was inspired to write about the ways in which my husband and I have strived to make time for ourselves since becoming parents. Before little Charlie arrived we were very selfish and don’t mind admitting it, we would spend our time doing whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. We’ve never been a couple that has to be joined at the hip so we would often go off and do our own thing – for me that would be working out, swimming or seeing friends. Whilst my husband would go to the cinema, play golf or watch DVD box sets. All our time was “me-time”.
Now, as I’m sure every parent can relate, our time revolves around our son. Weekends are precious as these are the only two days of the week that we get to spend together as a family. Initially, when Charlie was around 3 months old, my husband and I decided to split Sundays in half – in the morning I would go for a coffee and go swimming while the boys spent time together. Then when I got home my husband would go out to play golf. This worked really well for us, and getting back a little “me-time” did us both good.
At times we felt guilty about needing “me-time”, after all we spent years trying to start a family. But we have come to realise that there is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. It is totally ok to be “selfish” sometimes, and can actually benefit the relationships that you have with other people. It can make you more appreciative of the time that you have with your family, as well as allow you to regain some energy and re-connect with yourself.
We are also lucky enough that once a fortnight Charlie stays over at his grandparents house for the night. To start with we would come home after dropping him off, get straight in our PJ’s and slob in front of the TV all night. We still do this sometimes – but we decided to really make the effort to go out and do something different. Time alone as husband and wife is really rare now so we need to make best use of our time. Slobbing infront of the TV is good every now and again but we do that every night after Charlie is in bed, so we make a solid effort now to go out for a meal or to do something new when we have our free night.
Once on the treadmill of parenthood it is very easy to just exist day to day – especially with the sleep deprivation – and to not make the effort to do things you used to enjoy, or to try things that you’ve always wanted to. I am a big advocate of making the most of the time that you have – whether that be for enjoyment, relaxation or doing something that will better yourself. Whether a parent or not, we could all do with a little more time in our day, and time is not something that we can ever get back.
When thinking about what you have to dedicate your time to – don’t forget that just as important as everything else, you need to make time for YOU.